Sadly, we said "No"

Yesterday, the unbelievable happened. That which I pray hourly for; Adoption STAR called. Yes, I was talking with Vicky at the end of the day...procrastinating going to work out...and my cell phone vibrated. My heart skipped a beat as it always does when I reach for the phone these days, only to LEAP as the familiar 716 area code danced across my screen. It was Michele. She prefaced her call by saying she had a referral, but it wasn't perfect. There is a baby due to be born on Dec 31, 2006 in PA. The birth father will only accept a Jewish, or part Jewish couple for the baby. The birth father was diagnosed with schitzophernia at the age of 25. The birth mother is bi-polar. Ouch. Our fear of the unknown lead us to decline. I cried. I pray for this child. I know I don't have the strength to not worry or wonder every day, "when will the symptoms start?" That wouldn't be fair to us or this child. Sigh.