Visiting With Gabi's Birthfamily

Gabi and her bio-brother Tyler (Is that the same face or what??)


Ellie and Cole (Gabi's Tummy Mommy)


Uncle Andrew, Aunt Michelle and Gabi's Cousins and Sisters

Yesterday, we traveled to Buffalo for a visit with Gabi's birthfamily. First, we visited with her birthmom Nicole (or "Cole" as Gabi calls her), and Gabi's brother Tyler. Afterwards, we went to Aunt Michelle and Uncle Andrew's house where cousins Andrew, Caitlyn, and Alyssa were. Along with her sisters Ashley and Erica. It was an awesome day!

Favorite Shots from Christmas and Hannukah

Milk and Cookies for Santa. Orange for Reindeer

Twas the Night Before Christmas....

....Not a Creature was Stirring....

...In Hopes that St. Nick Soon Would be There.

Nicki and her boyfriend Cody at Hannukah Party

Ellie and her boyfriend Cullie :)

Menorah Lighting


"Rocking Out" Girls

Five or Fifteen???

Farewell Bill, Farewell

Please join me in sending prayers to the Reardon Family as they say goodbye to Grandpa Bill.



Bill was without a doubt, an excellent father and grandfather. His greatest joys came from being with his family. He will be missed by all that knew and loved him.

From Bad to Worse

We went to the oncologist today in Buffalo. He straightforwardly told us that he thinks it's ovarian cancer, not uterine. Many of you know that our beloved Aunt Annette (who Ellie is named after) died of Ovarian cancer 6 years ago. 18 months after she was diagonsed. She was also stage III but she was at C not A.

This Dr. is very thorough and I'm confident that he is checking all of his options before he comes up with a course of treatment.

His main concern is her age. She is only 36 and he kept stressing how rare this cancer is at her age. He also said there is a chance that she has two different cancers working (ovarian and uterine).

So here is where we are at:

Friday- she see's our OB/GYN here

Wed 12/31- CT/PET scan in Buffalo (full body scan)

Mon 1/5- Appointment with gynecological oncologist to discuss results and treatment

Her pathology slides are being sent to the head of pathology at a hospital in Buffalo for extensive review.

She also has to get more bloodwork.

I can't believe this is real. It's like we have boarded a train that none of us wanted to get on. But instead of having control to get off of it, it's just accelerating to the point where we can't even see the scenery passing us by it's just a blur.

At the Christmas Eve service tonight I had such a flood of emotions. Our family is so complete. Ellie is finally here. I have so much to be thankful for. And then the word "cancer" punches me in the gut.

Uterine Cancer

Stage IIIA.

We are off to Buffalo in the am so that she can see a radiologist. Already. No waiting. They want to see her NOW.

More later.....

Everything Old is New Again

As I had mentioned before, Howie was in a car accident two weeks ago. His car was deemed "a total loss". Being the sweet man that he is, he willingly took our 2007 Subaru Outback Wagon for himself. We bouught this car last December when the lease was up on our 2004 Honda Odyssey. I LOVED my Odyssey. But, gas prices were out of control this time last year, with no end in sight. So, being the practical minded people that we (err, he) is (are) we purchased the Subaru.

I've complained loudly. I've complained often. Rotten of me, I know. But think about it, we went from two (including Nicki) children and a van to three children and a car. It was sooo crowded in that car! Poor Nicki had to ride back there with two car seats for 10 hours on our way home from Indiana. Anyway, I digress.

Thanks to my wonderful husband (and a lady in an out of control SUV on an icy road one Monday morning) we picked up my very new, very own 2008 Honda Odyssey on Saturday!!!

There were MAJOR incentives on the 08 models. The only one they had left in stock has a DVD and Navigation system! Holy cow?!?!? Do I really own this luxury vehicle?? It's a long way from my very first car- a 1985 Ford Escort (purchased in 1994).

Also, we had to replace car seats because of the accident. Got Gabi a cute new booster and I took this opportunity to purchase Ellie's first big girl car seat. She has all but outgrown the infant carrier, and at 9 months and 21 pounds it's breaking my back to carry her in it!!!

Sooooo here are some stock photos of our new "stuff".......

Merry Chrismukkah!

Quick update on my sister- she has an appointment on Tuesday for the results of her biopsy from the hysterectomy. Thanks for your continued prayers...I will let you know.

In other news........

Tonight we celebrated the first night of Hannukah. I truly love that our daughters are so richly blessed with two different cultures to experience.

"I Hat My Mom"

Should I be proud, or should I be in tears??? Gabi constructed one of her very first written sentences today. She showed it to me and said "What does this say?" I looked at it and gasped! Could my sweet baby girl really have written what I think she was trying to write ("I hat my Mom)!?!? I actually started to cry- (dramatic, I know- but I was really hurt AND I wanted her to KNOW how upset I was).

She started crying too and said "Mommy, I didn't mean to write that, I didn't"

I finally got out of her that she had written it when she was mad at me because I made her go to bed and wouldn't let her sit with me. We promised each other that we would NEVER say that to or about each other again (even when she is an angry teenager-does writing about it here make it legally binding in 10 years??). She made us PINKY SWEAR on it!

I did congratulate her on writing the words so well. She said "Does that really spell hate?"
I told her it was very close, that she had just left off the "e". To which she responds "See- it doesn't say hate!! I didn't write that- I forgot the "e". Lol!!

In other recent "Gabisms".......

On the radio the other morning they were talking about The Nobel Peace Prize. Gabi asked what it was....

Mommy: It's a very, very special award that not many people get. You have to do something really, really good and nice for other people.

Gabi: Are we going to get that award?

Mommy: No, honey- it's a REALLY BIG award that very few people get world-wide.

Gabi: I think I'm going to get it. Remember, I held the door open for you the other day?

Another car conversation......

She kept asking for her backpack, and then giving it back to me to keep in the front seat.

Gabi: Mommy, I need my backpack I have a snack in there and I'm REALLY hungry.

Mommy: Gabi this is the LAST time I'm going to pass this bag back to you. It's too dangerous while I'm driving.

Gabi: I'll tell you what's dangerous. What's dangerous is me not getting something to eat.

Tis the Season to be....STRESSED!

Ugh. Where to begin? Where to begin?

Last Monday Howie was in a car accident on his way to work. He was not at all hurt, just severely shaken up. Found out today that the car is officially "totalled". Last December when the lease on our BELOVED Honda Odyssey was up, we sadly "down-graded" to a Subaru Outback in effort to save money in gas. I have been quite miserable ever since. It looks like we are going to be getting another Odyssey this weekend, and Howie will likely take the Subaru, but that leaves us with two car payments for the next four years. :(

Yesterday, my sister had an emergency hysterectomy. She has been suffering from severe abdominal pain for the past few months, and it was recently discovered that she had a mass on her ovary. She had exploratory surgery scheduled for later this month. Her pain was so severe that she was back in the ER Saturday evening. The mass had grown from 6 inches to 11 inches in ONE WEEK!!! They decided to go in and do surgery yesterday afternoon. Unfortunately, they had to do a complete hysterectomy. We won't know for about a week if she has ovarian cancer. We are of course praying that she's fine.

My Aunt died from this horrific cancer six years ago. She was only 44. My sister is only 36. The good news is that the Dr. is "optimistic" (75%) that it's NOT cancer. She doesn't have any kids, and has always said that she didn't want any.

I find myself grieving more than her for the loss of her uterus. I'm sad that my Mom never gets to see either of her two daughters pregnant. She of course, doesn't care about that, as long as we are healthy.

Here's a THROWBACK pic!!!!

Teri and Gidget circa 1994

Gabism of the Week

As many of you know, Gabi has some, er, sensory issues. She refuses to wear certain things that I would just LOVE to put her in (tights, jeans, adorable shoes...) I'm sloooowly letting go of my need to control things.

This year, I got her knee highs to go with her Christmas outfit. Brilliant! She can still look adorable, and stay warm.

This is what we heard coming from the backseat yesterday on the way to our annual xmas party.

"I NEED to take these socks off! Mommy, I NEED to take them off! These socks are SO NOT ME!"

Here's a pic of her still in pout mode. What you can't see is how she has folded her sweet little knee highs down to her ankles like bobby socks:

What a difference a YEAR makes......

One year ago today "A" called our 800 number for the very first time!!

I'll never forget it. It was a Thursday. I had called STAR earlier that morning and talked to our social worker about the sadness that engulfed me. We had just been told that we hadn't been selected for a case.

I was sitting in my office talking to the Athletic Director. My cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number so I took a deep breath and answered, as one must always be alert when monitoring an 800 adoption line. It was "A". She said that she had seen our ad and wasn't even sure why she called it. I remember saying "So you are currently pregnant?" At this point, Keith, the AD excused himself from my office.

"A" explained to me that she really thought that she was going to work with an agency (to ensure that we weren't "crazies") but felt compelled to call when she read our ad. I explained that we actually were working in conjunction with an agency and that if she was interested, she could call them to learn more about us.



We spoke for a few more minutes. It felt SO natural talking with her. I was instantly at ease. She laughed a lot and talked really fast, likely due to her nerves. When we hung up she said that she would call STAR. I encouraged her to call me at anytime.

As soon as we hung up I dialed STAR. (Well, after doing the happy dance all around my office). Amanda answered the phone, and "A" had already called!! She was already on the other line with another STAR worker! My heart SOARED at the possibility that THIS-JUST-MIGHT-BE-IT!!!!


Fast forward to the next morning- Friday December 7, 2007- 11:30am. I was driving in my car down Main St. (not sure why I wasn't at work...some things never change, wink wink). My phone rang. I instantly recognized the number with anticipation. A number that only 24 hours before had meant nothing to me.


It was "A". She indicated that she had talked to the people at our agency, viewed our profile online and said "I'm gonna choose you guys, I want you to adopt my baby". I started SCREAMING and CRYING at the same time. She seemed almost surprised at how much this meant to me. She kept saying "Aw, now your gonna make me cry".


Exactly 3 months to the day later, on March 7, 2008 our beautiful Elliana was born.


I still look at her with awe. Heck, five years later, I still look at Gabi the same way. It's amazing. Someone entrusted us to raise their baby girl. To be her everything. To love and cherish and adore her for always. Twice. We are humbled and honored to be called Mommy and Daddy by these amazing little girls. Thank you "N". Thank you "A". Thank you.


Our first look at our baby girl.....




What a difference a YEAR makes.....

.

Happy Holidays, My Friends

Santa as Explained by a Jewish Man

Oy Vey! Howie was just telling me about his conversation with Gabi.

Howie: Want to go Christmas shopping with me this weekend?

Gabi: No

Howie: Why not?

Gabi: I can't be with you when you buy me my Christmas presents.

Howie: We already bought you your presents.

Gabi: No you didn't those are all for Ellie. (She knows where our stash is- not what it is)

Howie: No they are for you. Santa dropped them off. He's coming back this week with the rest.

WHAT?? What the heck!?!?!?! So now Santa is like the UPS man, making frequent pre-Christmas deliveries?? Oy Vey!!!!! How am I going to explain this one??

The Best Christmas Gift!

Look at what I found under the tree this morning.... don't think I could ask for anything more. :)

"You'll Shoot Your Eye Out"

Last night Howie, Gabi, and I went out on a date. First we went to our favorite restaurant- Carrabba's YUM! Then we went to GEVA to see "A Christmas Story". It was AMAZING! Oh how I remember the days when I thought that the perfect Christmas present would make the world right. For me, it was a Cabbage Patch Kid.

We had front row seats, which was really cool. I LOVED watching Gabi as she took in every bit of it. She was mesmerized. At the end she declared that she "really liked it, especially that bully".

So Much to be THANKFUL for

Thanksgiving. THANKSgiving. ThanksGIVING. I have sooooo much to be thankful for. I am aware of this every day. I am blessed. I wish all of YOU, my readers, lurkers, and stalkers a very BLESSED Thanksgiving as well.

In other news......

Ellie has a new look.....

isn't that hysterical? She does it all the time.

She also has a new trick.........

I'm a LOSER!

Actually, THE BIGGEST LOSER to be precise.

We had a contest at work. The person to lose the most weight, percentage wise was declared the winner.

I lost 6% and WON!

I almost feel like I was cheating, because I am also on WW. I won $129.00!! Just enough to cover my weekly WW costs!

It feels so good to have some control over my weight. Ever since college, I have struggled with this up down up down roller coaster. It's maddening. I'm in a good place right now. Hope I stay here for a LONG LONG time!

"You just wait...."

Oh how I remember hearing those words which were usually followed by something like "God is going to give you a child JUST LIKE YOU."

Fast forward several years.

(Clearly, I lived with a fortune teller.)

It seems that Miss Gabi is having an extremely hard time learning when it's appropriate to talk and when she needs to zip it. Did I mention that EVERY year my report card comments would read something like this...."Teri is a bright student however, she talks too much." Each semester, each year throughout Elementary school, my report cards would have some type of variation of that comment.

Enter September 2008. My sweet daughter is having a very hard time controlling her "Gab"bing at school. Her teacher uses a visual warning system. The children start on green everyday and then are asked to move their cards to yellow, orange, and red (in that order) throughout the day if the behavior continues. They can also work their way back up to green.

We take it very seriously when she comes home on any color other than green. Lately, she has had too many yellow days- and even an orange here and there. She always reports that it's because she has been talking.

I called my Mom for some advice. Asked her what she did to help me. You know what she did? She LAUGHED. Yup. That's right. Laughed a satisfying hearty bellow.

Gabi is also way too smart for me. Here is how tonight's conversation went.

Mommy: Gabi, I'm really disappointed that you are on yellow for the second day in a row.

Gabi: Mommy, I just don't know what I would ever do without you. You are so beautiful and I just love you so much.

Mommy: Thank you Gabi, I love you too that's why I want you to be responsible and make good choices.

Gabi: Mommy, I really can't imagine what I would ever do without you. I would never even kiss anybody ever again.

Mommy: (Quietly smiled to myself as I thought....You just wait....)

EEeek- Brilliant or "Lucky"?

Is she brilliant? Is she trying to tell me how smart she is by RIPPING the first letter of her name off of my laptop? Is this some kind of secret infant communication she's sending my way?

Hah! If only!!!

As you can see, SOMEHOW when Ellie was sitting on my lap and I made the FOOLISH mistake of turning my head away for a split second she managed to deface my keyboard!

Anyone know how to fix this? It doesn't pop back on like a regular keyboard key. UGH!!

Mama Maaama

One week ago today- Monday November 10, 2008 my baby started saying her first word- "Mama"!!! That's right- NOT Dada!!! :)

She also sprouted her 7th tooth today, right on cue with her buddy Cullen. It's freakish how in sync those two are! :0

Process a WHAT?

OMG! Last night Gabi was telling me that she needed to do "re-surch". She said that meant you had to look things up to learn more about them. She then said "Mom it's all a Prostitution." At which point I nearly ran over a mailbox and said "It's a WHAT?" She says once again a "Prostitution, you know a Process-a-tution" (which she says reallllly sllooowly and enunciates each letter as if I'm the dumbest person on the planet for not knowing what she was saying to me. OY!!!!!!!!

Gabism of the Day

"Why can't this whole world just be pink?"

She asked THE Question

THE question that I had been dreading..... while we were driving......



Gabi: Mommy, is Vicky getting a baby?



Mommy: She is having a baby, not getting one. Most tummy Mommy's raise the babies that they deliver.



Gabi: So some tummy Mommies keep their babies and some don't?



Mommy: Yuppers. You and Ellie were very special because your Tummy Mommies asked us to take care of you and be your forever Mommy and Daddy.



Gabi: They don't want the babies so they give them away? Cole didn't want me?

Mommy: (Choking) No honey, it's just the opposite. She LOVED you SO much and she knew she couldn't take care of you, so she asked us to love you forever and always. She LOVES you!

Gabi: I think there is a bird on your shoulder. (Apparently, it wasn't as monumental a question for me, as it was for her. lol)

Here are some pics of Gabi and I being silly. She kept coming up with ideas for new pics---clearly she was STALLING before bed! LOL

Talking Politics with a Five Year Old

Summer 2008:

Gabi: (After seeing a political commercial) Mommy, I want John McCain to be our next President.

Mommy: Why is that?

Gabi: Cause he's prettier.

October 2008:

Mommy: So do you still want John McCain for President?

Gabi: No, I changed up my mind. I want I'Rock Obama.

Mommy: What made you change your mind, did you see something on tv that made you like his views better. Was it during a debate or something? (I enjoy talking to her like she's 40, lol)

Gabi: No, I just like brown people.

Mommy: Well honey, we don't determine our next president based on skin color. etc, etc...

Gabi: No Mommy, I just like brown people best so that's why I want him to win.

Mommy: Honey we need to choose based on what they believe in, not based on what color they are. We must not judge people by the color of their skin.

Gabi: (in her 40 year old voice) Mommy, everybody does it.

-What?? Is this really coming from the mouth of a child that can't tie her own shoes???

November 2008:

Mommy: So, who do you want for President this week?

Gabi: I told you, I want I'Rock Obamba.

Mommy: Well I was wondering if maybe you had changed your mind again.

Gabi: Nope. You know why I want I'Rock Obama?

Mommy: No honey I don't really even have a clue.

Gabi: Cause he Rocks, he's I'Rock Obama and he's a Rock Star!!!

Halloween 2008

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Ellie's New Trick

Elliana has surely perfected the art of GROWING TEETH! As you may recall, she sprouted her first two at 4 months. Just recently her "eye" teeth emerged, and now we have the top center two teeth peeking through the surface. She gets a bit gumpy, but otherwise has handled it all very well.

In other news, we have been enjoying the many treats that come with the arrival of fall.

I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again- Life is Good!

Throw Back Pic of the Week......

Recognize these little sweeties?
Gabi and YaYa (aka Allie) circa 2005 :)

Torture at the Airport

If you know me, you know of my love for coffee. You know also that it doesn't get any better than Dunkin Donuts coffee in my world. The sad part is that I live about 35 minutes away from any DD (although my wallet appreciates the distance).

Anyway, I digress. Yesterday I saved some of my coveted WW Points for the sheer purpose of picking myself up a DD coffee on the way to the airport to pick up my Mom. I even allotted myself extra travel time for the sole purpose of this beloved cup of java.

Imagine my horror when I approach the drive through only to realize that it's (GASP) closed! I quickly recover by assuring myself that I will be able to grab a cup at the kiosk at our fine local airport.

I nearly RUN up the escalator towards the soft glow of the orange and pink sign, enthralled by the promise of all it has to offer. Enter "brick" wall. Actually, enter cheap ass plexiglass barrier, guarded dearly by a proud employee who in a former lifetime I would have rudely referred to as a "rent-a-cop". (Of course being the mature person I am today, I would never use that dismissing term).

As I make my way towards Barney Fife, I conjure up my best sugary, sweet smile, knowing this is going to be a tough situation to overcome. He DOESN'T even flinch. He tells me that I am not in fact entitled to walk the five feet to the other side of this clear wall and then has the AUDACITY to suggest I go grab myself one of those vending machine cups of coffee! As IF!!!!!

I saunter my way down the hall to the "ENTRY" point of security, (as this is apparently the "Passenger Meeting Point") to find a group of 5 "Security Guards" sitting on their bums eating McDonald's that was without a doubt obtained from the other side of the wall. (You must remember this is SMALL town USA and the airport is about the size of my living room). I attempt to wittingly bribe my way to the other side. Nothing. No movement. I pull a sympathetic looking one to the side (non-chalantly of course) and offer up FIVE bucks for the safe pick-up and delivery of coffee into my hands. He says "I'm sorry Maim, I can't help you." MAIM?! WTF- when did I become a MAIM? I throw a hasty "Yah, I can see how busy you all are" at them and stomp away.

It is at about this point that I realize I am not going to be getting what I want. And I find myself near tears. I HATE being told NO. I HATE not getting my way. I know it's a dumb and stupid reason to pout, but I couldn't help it. Remember the good ole' days when you could walk right down to the gate and meet your loved one as they disembarked? Those days are long gone. It's all just another reminder of how those demonic, selfish, brutal, horrific, disgusting men have changed the way that we all live. I HATE that this is our new reality.


My viewpoint.......if you look closely you can see the seam of the plexi glass wall.

Autumn Days

Sue and I spent the afternoon shooting photos of the kiddos at a local waterfall. It was a beautiful day, and I'm not sure who had the most fun- the kids, the babies, or the Mommies!

Make a Smilebox photobook

THESE are the Days

Indeed they are. A few people have been asking about the meaning of my blog name.

This song quite perfectly describes where I "live". I have the family I've always dreamt of, fantastic life-long friends, and a job I love.

In fact, for me THESE are the Days...

Just try to listen to this song without feeling like the sun is shining on your face and that all is right with the world. It's impossible.

These are the Days by 10,000 Maniacs
These are days you'll remember.

Never before and never since, I promise, will the whole world be warm as this.

And as you feel it, you'll know its true that you are blessed and lucky.

Its true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.


These are days you'll remember.

When may is rushing over you with desire to be part of the miracles you see in every hour.

You'll know its true that you are blessed and lucky.

Its true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.

These are days.


These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break.

These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face.

And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be.

See the signs and know their meaning.

Its true, you'll know how it was meant to be.

Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you, to you.

Four Eyes

Today, I picked up my new glasses. I only need them when I drive so I went with something a little funky knowing I don't need them to match outfits. ;) While we were there Gabi tried on some glasses too. HOLY COW did she look cute! Does anybody remember the time I nearly cried when she passed her eye exam? Darn it. No glasses in her future.