Monday, March 26, 2007
Here comes the GLUM
Oh I can't help it. I TRY to be positive. HONEST, I DO! I have been near tears many times tonight at the thought that we haven't been matched. Eight months. Ten before that when we were optimistically waiting for another baby that never existed. Eighteen months. I have dreamt of holding this baby in my arms for eighteen months. The worst part is the dreams. I have dreams of babies. My baby. Holding my baby. Smelling my baby. I can't stand that moment when I have awoken- caught between an image so vivid it must be real, and the world around me where it's all too real. I have lost my baby again. Last night I dreamt that one of my student's (who is not at all likely to fall into this scenario) gave birth to a baby boy. She asked us to parent him. She was certain about her decision. I held him. I kissed him. I felt him in my arms. The questions-- How much longer? How much longer until our baby finds us? How much longer til I hold him/her in my arms? How much longer until our family swells? How much longer can I do this?
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18 comments:
((((Huge Hugs))))
Terri...I have been there! Back in December, I had the most vivid dream...so much so that I got up...like I was sleep walking...went into the baby's room, opened up the drawers and took out clothes that I would need for the baby and started to walk down the stairs to put them in the laundry...then I realized that it was a dream. I remember sitting on the stairs crying...Hang in there! We all have these days...Hugs and Blessings! Remember you still have Gabi! and what a blessing she is!
Teri- I feel the same way these days! Wish the wait was easier, but it isn't! As more time passes it get's harder!!Hang in there !!!!You never know when you will get that call!!Could be today, tomorrow......very soon!
Teri- I feel the same way these days! Wish the wait was easier, but it isn't! As more time passes it get's harder!!Hang in there !!!!You never know when you will get that call!!Could be today, tomorrow......very soon!
Think of you often! The wait is so hard. Words from an adoptee to Dave and me.... "Keep thinking ahead and believe in fate. Your turn is soon to come. Stay Positive."
I wish I had magic words. Words that could make it all better, and at the same time bring the joy that comes with a child. But, I didn't major in English, so all I have are regular words. Even those don't seem enough on those dark days. So I guess I will just send a hug (or two).
Your friendship and support brings me to tears. Seriously, don't know what I'd do with out you all. I had to listen to Howie talk to one of his students on the phone tonight. He was encouraging her to transition into a program for young mothers. She is due in May. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Gabi asked "Why are you sad?" to which I said "Why am I always sad?" She says "Cause our baby didn't come home yet."
((hugs)) I wish I had a magic word or two but I don't...I can remember when we were waiting for Jake and one of Mike's students was pregnant..I begged him to ask if they were going to parent..of course they are...each passing day brings you one day closer!
Hi Teri,
This is definately not an easy time, but truly is the journey to YOUR baby.. Your baby isn't ready to be born and join your family just yet. The future is written in the stars and we are all one day closer to our dreams. Hang in there.. your time is nearing, it just HAS to be!
Teri-
You are loved! I wish I knew what else to say. I'm here if you need me!
Teri,
It has been 15 months of waiting for us so far so I feel your pain!
Keep the Faith!
I found you randomly and looked thru your adoption profile. May I ask what part of New York you are from?
Upstate, NY. Are you an adoptive parent?
Thanks for answering. No I'm not. Upstate as in "Buffalo" area?
Hi! We live between Rochester and Buffalo. :) You know, the snow belt!!
Thanks, I was hoping NY "state", as in closer to the east coast :o(
I wish you the best of luck in your search. I know someone will scoop you up quickly because you seem to be a really wonderful family!
We visit the "east coast" several times a year- my husbands family is there! Love it there!! Is that where you are?
oh- i forgot to thank you for wishing us luck!!! thats very sweet of you. i truly hope that we will be "scooped up" soon! i know our baby is out there, somewhere- it's just so hard to wait to be found! sigh.
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