Arugh

In a perfect world anyone who has to wait months and years INDEFINITELY without the comfort of a due date, or the certainty that must exist when one feels their child swimming around inside of them would forever be exempt from anymore waiting. I mean shouldn't there be an unwritten rule that says "Oh, you are an adoptive parent, well you've certainly paid your penance for waiting, skip to the front of the line." But alas, this is no perfect world that we live in.

There hasn't been one particular experience that has brought this thought to mind. There have been many. Most certainly, all of them mundane enough that I should shut my mouth and be happy. But, still I find myself perserverating on my distaste for waiting. One would think that after having waited for so long for my children to be placed into my arms that I would be an expert at the art of patience. But I am clearly not.

I have deluded myself into wanting things when I want them. Now. Crazy, I know. For example, I went to three different "walk in" eye Dr's for an exam the other day. None could provide for me at that very moment- but offered appointments within hours. I was annoyed. In trying to call customer service for a product, the automated machine announced that the office was closed until Monday. I was aghast at the thought that someone wasn't perched by the telephone ready to meet my every need.

My Mom ended up back in the ER this week and was subsequently admitted. One who enters the hospital in anticipation of immediate answers will be "sorely" disappointed. (I just came up with that, it should be on a fortune cookie or something, no?). The medical community is clearly facing a huge deficit for Dr's and nursers. A sign of the times. But when it's MY Mom I don't care about that. I want someone to fix her. Now. But, we still have no answers. She has been released, and has a stress test scheduled for Tuesday (something the Dr required her to get "immediately" when she was in the hospital two weeks ago- this was the soonest it could be scheduled). She is feeling better, and so I must focus on that. Not on all of the time that passes between the questions and the answers to them.