The past 24 hours have been wrought with grief, celebration, anticipation, and finally exhaustion. At about this time yesterday (7 pm) as I was celebrating with colleagues at our annual retirement party, a phone call brought to light my greatest fear as a high school counselor; a student had just committed suicide. For years, I have feared this moment, knowing the unfortunate reality of its inevitability. I was shocked, shaken, saddened and just plain angry! I have known this young man since he was in 7th grade. For five years I have worked with him and his family, befriended his older and adored his younger sisters, counseled his girlfriend. and silently became enmeshed into the community that has been so violently shaken. But this isn't about me. This is about the un-necessary ending to an un-lived life. This is about watching 14, 15, 16 and 17 year olds attempt to comprehend immortality.
After learning the news, I headed directly to the school knowing that seniors were due there soon for their annual "camp" out before the last day of classes. An intention to stay only a few hours turned into an entire night. Yep, I stayed UP ALL NIGHT! GO ME! I even worked a full day today! I am so relieved to say that the night was only partly about the loss of a friend. It was more about "being together" as one big extended family. They were able to put aside what had happened and just be the beautiful, amazing, wonderful budding adults that they so clearly are. There were about 60 students, myself, and the principal. I am overflowing with pride at the respect and responsibility these students embodied as they spent an entire night largely unsupervised on the front lawn of their high school.
I have learned so many lessons in the past 24 hours:
I have learned that no matter how prepared we are, we are never fully prepared.
I have learned that confronting a fear head on serves as a remedy for overcoming that fear.
I have learned that despite my occasional doubts students, no people, are resilient creatures.
I have learned that life is meant to be embraced, and that despite sadness, happiness can, and often will prevail.
So I will continue to prepare, to confront my fears, to believe in others, including myself with the promise of good outwitting bad...........
6 comments:
Life is a struggle, that is the simple truth. The things we learn on our roads in the journey called life, teach us so many valuable lessons that help us continue. I respect your dedication to these young adults.. You have touched their lives more than you'll ever know and taught them techniques and strategies by just being there for them. You are a special gift!
You are amazing and a wonderful example to all those you meet. Your students are so fortunate to have you. (((Hugs)))
Oh my goodness, Teri. What an unbelieveable tragedy. You are awesome and Sue is right, those students are incredibly fortunate to have you. Let me know if you need anything.
Teri- I am so sorry!!! Praying for the young man, and all the lives he has touched!
Your strength and dedication is seen by me, so I am sure your students see it too. I am truly sorry for your loss.
Teri, i am so sorry. High School is the troughest when it comes to the death of a friend. I had a friend die my freshman year of college so we were about 17 or 18 and it was so terrible, but knowignwe had adults to fall back on was our saving grace! Those students of yours are so blessed to have you there. You are such a strong person and you know all the right htings to say, even when there really are not any words to say. God speed.
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