No Matter What I do.....

nothing seems to work. We were profiled again this week. I tried the don't-tell-anyone-so-as-not-to-jinks-it routine. Found out today we weren't chosen. Throws that theory out the window. I am trying so hard to be strong, to be positive, to keep an open mind. It's just the days like these that throw me back to a place of doubt and insecurity. The good news is that my recovery time appears to be improving. I already feel a little better. I only spent a few hours in "baby mode" as Vicky dubbed it (the time after not being chosen where I can't function). This is good. I used to live there for days. I have the most amazing daughter I could have ever hoped for. I have a step-daughter who fills us with love. Maybe this is where our life is? Maybe we are only meant for these two beautiful girls? I don't say that with self-pity- I say it with realistic expectation. I guess only time will tell. It's in God's hands. It always has been. It always will be.