I Don't Want to Shower Today

Ugh. I LOVE Jenna. She is one of my oldest and dearest friends-in fact, I adore her. I appreciate her lengthy plight filled with infertility treatments and ultimately a successful in-vitro. I am THRILLED that she will give birth to her first child, a son, in March. But, today I am feeling selfish. I question my ability to sit through her very well deserved baby shower this afternoon. It has nothing to do with her, and everything to do with me. You see, TOMORROW I will HOPEFULLY know the fate of the little guy that was born on 12-26-06. TOMORROW. 24 hours. Baby showers scare me. I don't trust myself. I don't want to know the emotions my body is capable of dredging up. But, I will go. I will hold my head high, and think outside of my world to share in her beautiful joy. I wouldn't want it any other way.