I feel sick....

I can't help it. I tried to not get my heart involved, but c'mon that is nearly impossible. We have been talking to a counselor from Spence Chapin since Monday about a baby boy that was born on 12-26-06. Things looked good. Things looked very good. Monday night- received 27 pages of paperwork- faxed it back Tuesday am. Tuesday afternoon, spoke with Gretchen again- she "loves" us. She even spoke with Howie for an HOUR! Poured my heart out to Lisa in a "Dear Lisa" letter that I finished this morning and emailed to Gretchen. All was looking up. Until. This morning. The "bad news" call came. Gretchen said that Lisa was trying to convince her Aunt to parent him. Her Aunt didn't want to at first, but seems to be coming around to the idea. What? Coming around to the idea? I would do flips and cartwheels and shout it to the world if I were chosen to be his Mommy. But I have not been. And probably won't be. The counselor is meeting with Lisa and her Aunt on Friday. She will take our profile "just in case." Oh, and as if that wasn't enough of a slap in the face, one of my 17 year old students came to share with me that her pregnancy test was positive last night. She wants to parent. She's only 17, and all I can think of is "lucky her."